Author: Kendra Vasquez

7 Steps to Collaborative Conflict Resolution

These steps can help you organize your thoughts and work towards finding a solution to conflict.

Approach the problem in terms of needs, not solutions
What is underneath the frustration or hurt? Rather than starting with what the other person should be doing better, start by identifying what you are needing or expecting from them:
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2. Share your problem and unmet needs
Share honestly about what you’re feeling. How will you express or describe what you need to say? Jot down a few ideas : ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
3. Listen as the other person tells you their needs
Part of conflict resolution is hearing the other person out. Express genuine curiosity to understand where the other person is coming from!
4. Collaborate on a list of possible solutions
What would help resolve this conflict, and where can you and the other person find common ground moving forward?
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5. Review each solution and pick the best one together
Collaboration is key here! Both parties should feel heard in selecting the path forward. What are you both going to do?
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6. Try the solution
Try it out! Make real efforts towards change and see if the solution you agreed on is going to be helpful. Sometimes it’s easy to be all talk, but resolving conflict requires making the effort to implement agreed on changes.
7. Review the solution at a later date
It can be really helpful to loop back around in a few days or weeks and check in about how you’re both feeling. Is there anything left unsaid? Is our solution working for us? Reviewing the solution doesn’t have to mean bringing up old fights, but rather communicates that this is important, and this person matters to me.